The story of
this week's Parshah
(Exodus 1:1-6:1) begins with
the enslavement and bitter
bondage of the Israelites
in Egypt. In spite of the
back-breaking oppression,
the hardship and
humiliation, the Jewish
people would be forged in
the fiery furnace of exile.
Jewish
women, in particular, are
given much of the credit for
our eventual deliverance. In
the merit of the righteous
women of that generation was
Israel
redeemed from Egypt (Talmud,
Sotah
11b). The most important
contribution of the women
then was that they were
prepared to bring children
into the world despite the
most impossible living
conditions. Furthermore, it
was they who encouraged the
men to raise families during
their slavery. The Talmud
recounts how the women would
soothe their husbands in the
fields, charming and easing
them into intimacy. Through
their dedication was a
generation born.
And today?
There is no bondage and
little suffering in our
lives. Our biggest hardship
is paying the mortgage,
tuition fees, and fixing the
transmission in the second
car. Even those among us who
struggle financially live
far more comfortably than
any of our forbears. But we
have been so
conditioned--make that
brainwashed--by a societal
value system and media
manipulation, that anybody
with more than three
children is positively
primitive and, oh so crude.
Everyone
knows that the very first
commandment in the Bible is Be
fruitful and multiply
and all of us are called
upon to build and populate
the world. But the argument
goes that this only applied
in the beginning of time
when there was Adam
and Eve and a handful of
others, but today we suffer
from overpopulation, hunger
and poverty. Well, everyone
also knows that
overpopulation is not a
problem in affluent
countries and communities.
And we also know that hunger
could be alleviated if there
was an equitable global food
distribution program. Having
another kid in California
isn't really going to cause
starvation in Bangladesh.
Certainly
from a Jewish perspective,
we Jews are grossly under
populated. We have still not
replaced the one third of
our nation wiped out in the
Holocaust. By now, we should
have been far more numerous.
Sure, our numbers are
depleting because of
assimilation but also
because we are having
smaller families. Jews seem
to take the two per family
rule more seriously than
most. If anything, we can
claim a dispensation from
Zero Population Growth on
the grounds that we are
still making up our losses.
Besides, chances are we
won't be turning to the
United Nations or the World
Bank for their assistance.
If necessary, we will help
ourselves.
Then there
is Israel. Let's face it: a
factor which exacerbates our
difficulties in the Middle
East is that Palestinians
have more children than
Israelis. If every Israeli
family had one more child we
wouldn't be so dependent on
massive Aliyah
numbers from around the
world.
Isn't it
expensive to have a big
family? Without doubt, more
mouths to feed, clothe and
educate means a bigger
family budget. But it is
also a question of
priorities, allocations and
making choices. A family
vehicle instead of a luxury
car is only one example of
how larger families manage.
At the end of the day, we
trust in G-d
and really do believe that
with every new child comes a
new blessing of sustenance
from Hashem
to help us raise that child.
Over the
years, on many occasions I
have heard women past
menopause say they wish they
had had more children. How
many famous actresses have
been busy with their careers
and when they were finally
ready to start a family, it
wasn't easy. Their own
biological clocks ticked
away while they were playing
other people's lives on
screen.
My wife and
I have, thank G-d, been
blessed with a large family.
Over the years, we have been
on the receiving end of many
jokes and snide remarks.
With incredulous, wide eyes
people asked my wife, how
many children do you have?!
Her stock answer? One of
each. I can well
appreciate the Rabbi who got
tired of all the dirty looks
at his kids. Wise guys would
challenge him with questions
like when are you going
to stop! His reply? When
I hit Six Million! End
of discussion.
So if you're
feeling broody, go for it.
If you want to bring
yourself many beautiful
blessings (not to mention
grandchildren) for many
years to come, have another
child. Don't be intimidated
by convention, cynics, or
even your mother in law!
Plan a larger family. It'll
make you larger than life
and give you much
satisfaction and nachas–-for
life.
Our
grandmothers in Egypt were
heroines. Their faith built
a nation. May we do our
share and, please G-d, we,
too, will be redeemed